Gunsi Update

Eight months after hugging little Gunsi goodbye for the last time, 

I still have the incredible privilege of watching her and sweet little Metalepule grow up.

Every few weeks I'll text Ms. Dorah to see how things are with the creshe and beg for a few photos of Gunsi.  On top of that, Not Forgotten is really good about keeping

 their Facebook page updated, and though it sometimes requires some searching,  I can almost always spot my baby somewhere in the photos.  

Technology has its ups and downs, but getting to watch Gunsi 

and Metalepule grow and thrive is a major perk.  

Leaving South Africa meant leaving a huge piece of my heart with the children I loved and friendships I cherished.  For months and months I begged God to let me go back to where my heart was.  Some days my heart leaped as I thought the answer was yes.  Other days I wanted to cry as I watched the door seem to close.  Right now, it looks as though SA will not be a huge part of my immediate future, though I look forward to a possibly visiting within the next two years, and then doing part of my college missions training there within the next three years.  

Sometimes the answer is no, as I feared.  But other times the answer is wait, and God has given me the grace to be ok with that as other doors are opening.  

Anyway, back to the girls!

Gunsi is now about 18 months and thriving!  The little miracle is catching up quickly after her rough start and is doing wonderfully.

I was able to watch her sit up on her own, scoot, crawl and now even WALK through pictures and videos.  I was even able to see her "in person" take some of her first step through FaceTime and cheer her on from across the ocean.  My baby is doing so very well.  

Gunsi in the picture above was beginning to get better, but still had a long road ahead of her.  I was preparing to leave within the next couple days, and my heart was heavy not knowing what was going to happen to her.  I remember thinking that it was nice seeing her doing well that day, because I secretly feared she wouldn't make it in the months

ahead. I should have just trusted my God!  He has her in the palm of His hands and she is doing so well, as shown in the picture to the right.  

 !  

Gunsi is walking!

So proud of her.  

It made my heart happy

 seeing how much she adored

 Ms. Kedi and how much 

Ms. Kedi loved her. 

Little Metalepule has completely transformed!  From a lethargic and struggling child who would rarely make eye contact with me, she has grown into a THRIVING, healthy, and joyful little girl.  It made my heart so happy to speak to her through FaceTime and see her smile shyly and speak into the camera.  Honestly, the change is so dramatic that I wouldn't have even recognized her if I Mrs. Mimi hadn't told me it was Metalepule.  We are praising God the miracle of these girls lives! 

Metalupule in July (left) and Metalepule in January (right)

 So blessed by these girls and the miraculous work God has done in their lives!  

http://notforgottensa.com/ 

Just Breathing

Ah, it is so wonderful to break out of the hectic business of life and press the pause button.  

Mom was right - I'm wired to work, and if there's a project to do I'm first to tackle the job.  Business almost becomes a coping mechanism when I'm missing Africa extra badly. 

Though I was really sick during my last couple of weeks in South Africa, I came back thinking I was ready to dive back into summer business.  By the time I was in the States a week and a half, I quickly realized just how weak and burned out I really was. 

For a gal who usually can't nap at all, I found myself exhausted by midmorning and easily slept for hours.  "You need to get away," Mom said.  "It's the only way you'll rest."  

So after one last bang of business while I prepared to give a presentation about my trip in youth group, I took off for my cousins home in the mountains of Virginia.  What a joy that family is!  

I love them like second parents and another set of siblings, and I have a feeling that the feeling is mutual.  Each one of my cousins have grown noticeably since I saw them last Christmas, and best of all, cousin number 20 has made his grand entrance.  

Little Grayson is a doll, and the three days I spent with the family were full of card games, berry picking, dessert cooking, hiking through mountains, and all kinds of wonderful. 

Grayson wasn't too fond of a photoshoot during his busy morning, but the pictures I captured of him make me swoon every time.  Being around Grayson lessened the baby-ache I've been experiencing since leaving SA, big it is still there.  

Mom spent one night with me in the mountains before returning home, and I found myself deep in thought about my little Huncie the morning she was supposed to leave.

"Mom," I mused, "what do you think it would have been like if I had moved to Africa for my senior year to raise Huncie?  Or what if I could have adopted or long-term fostered her?"  Images of the little one filled my mind and made me long for her to be by my side.  What if, just what if, I wondered, what if I was her Momma, and she was mine?  Though I longed for it, I knew the practicalities and logistics of the idea made it impossible, or at least extremely impractical.  

"Well," Mom said, answering my question, "If you had moved there to raise her, you probably wouldn't have been able to get much, if any school done.  You wouldn't be able to finish your senior year, and you'd become a high school drop-out."

I started giggling and Mom joined in.  She knows my heart for that little one, and as my momma, she knows when to use humor to get a serious point across.  The fact is, I cannot adopt Huncie, and it's not God's plan for me to move to SA right now.  I believe that with all my heart.  

Yet, one can dream, and right now those dreams are full of a beautiful, tiny little girl with huge brown eyes and a smile that has my heart.  

Guncie Update

I met Guncie a mere two days ago, and yet I feel as though she has been apart of my heart and life for so much longer than that.  She was on my mind as soon as I woke up in the morning, and I wondered if she was being fed and cared for.  I have to wait the whole weekend before I will be able to check on her again, and it hurts my heart.

First thing yesterday morning, Mrs. Mimi and I went to buy baby formula and other necessities for Guncie.  I felt like a proud momma as I picked bought starter baby food, bottles, and formula for the little girl.  She is not mine, and can't be.  I know that.  But God has allowed me to be part of my life for this season, and I want to make the most of the time I am given.  The can of formula I bought cost me only about $14, yet would cost a mother the equivalent of about 2 days of working.  After about an hour and half of shopping, we ended up with three bags of baby essentials and went to pick up a friend took off for the creshe.  It made my heart so happy to watch Ms. Kitty looking over the things we bought.  She is the sweetest lady with a huge heart, and loves that baby girl like her own.  

Official mom status?  

Minutes later, Mrs. Mimi and Ms. Kitty went to get the baby, and ended up coming back with Guncie's mom, and two year old sister.  Guncie's mother, Emily, seemed quite uncomfortable sitting with us at the creshe, yet she was gracious and allowed us to bathe and feed both Guncie and her sister.  

It was obvious that the little girls were uncomfortable when they were not right next to their mother, and made me hope that it is not Ms. Emily's heart to neglect her children, but lack of knowing how.  Yet, as Mrs. Mimi explained, young children are wired to love their parents no matter what, and she is probably the only one her girls are around on a consistent basis.  

Ms. Kitty warmed water for a bath as little Guncie worked on finishing a bottle, and her sister and mother ate oranges and "fat cakes" - similar to unsweetened doughnuts.  

I set out new clothes, diapers, baby lotion and soap for Guncie's bath, yet the poor baby was absolutely terrified of the water.  She wailed and arched her back as I dipped her feet into the water, and was so distressed by it that I ended up laying her down on a blanket and just giving her a sponge bath.  Still, she wailed and cried pitifully until we wrapped her up in a newborn size diaper that was nearly too large, and new, warm pajamas.  We handed her back to her mother and she quickly fell asleep, worn out from the stress of the bath. 

After asking Ms. Emily's permission, we also bathed Guncie's sister.  We had set aside clothes for her as well, but forgot to get them out of the car.  I hated to put the clothes she was wearing back on her -   they were so dusty and honestly reeked, but we had no other option.  After cleaning her up, I set her in my lap and breathed in the sweet smell of her now-clean head.  We got another bowl of food for her, which she ate as she sat in my lap.  

She seems somewhat delayed - she never made eye contact, was not very alert to her surroundings, and seemed fairly unaffected by what was going on around her.  The only thing that I could tell she was focused on was her mother - the little girl seemed so tired, yet wouldn't let herself go to sleep.  Ms. Kitty told me she was afraid that her mother was going to leave her.

 A bit later, Ms. Emily stood up and told us that she was going to back to her house, but would come back later.  I watched quietly as the three of them walked out of the creshe's gate and make their way down the dusty red road.  After watching the mother interact with her children, I felt the tiniest bit more hopeful about their situation.  Like mentioned earlier, Ms. Emily never showed any signs of obvious dislike toward her children during the time we were with her, and she did come back in the afternoon as she had promised.  I'm praying and believing for a miracle in Emily's life, for healing and restoration for her and her girls.  As Mrs. Mimi said, it is never the goal to break up the family, but to teach the mother how to be the mother.  

We packed a baggie of formula and starter baby food and gave it to Ms. Emily for the weekend.  Because it is in the baggie, it is harder to sell should the temptation or opportunity arise.  And now I wait for Monday to see my little girl again, while I pray and believe for a miracle on her behalf.  Our God is a God of redemption, and as I was reminded of this while reading Acts 9 this morning.  God spoke to Ananias, telling him to go to Saul as God was in the process of bringing redemption to his life:

"The Lord said to Him, 'Go, for he is a chosen instrument of Mine, to bear My name before the Gentiles and kinds and the sons of Israel..."  

Emily, Guncie, and Guncie's sister are chose instruments of the Lord, and we proclaim healing over them in Jesus name.