Just Like Me

Faces.  Grins.  Smirks. 
Teens sit in groups waiting for a class at a public school to begin. 
Most of these groups could rightly be called "cliques", and those who are not part of one sit alone.
I watch the people around me.
As I do, I realize that, for the first time in my life, I sit among the "popular kids".
Others are around us.
Some are in their own little groups, others sit silently alone.
Oddly, I find no fulfillment in being here.
Instead I find in defrauding. 
The "cool" kids talk disrespectfully.  They curse.  They swear.  They put each other down.
What on earth are they doing?!  I wonder.
But I know.
They are insecure, just like me.
They just express it differently.
When I become insecure or anxious I "hide".  I don't say a word, I avoid people, I put myself down.
They do the opposite. 
They put others down.
They become loud.
Mean.
Annoying.
 
Both responses to insecurity are not right, because both stem from fear.
Fear that has been paid for and should be gone.
My anxiety and all my shortcomings were paid for, and need to go. 
When I become anxious and choose to continue to feel fear, I indirectly and unpurposefully say, "What Jesus did is not enough for me."
 
I don't choose to become afraid or anxious.
But I do choose what I do with those feelings.
 
I am choosing to accept the price paid for me, and live free - because I am.
 
I see people differently.
Every teen has some sort of insecurity. 
Everyone is trying to figure something out, and everyone wants to appear "cool" before their peers.
The "cool" kids are insecure - just like me. 
And the cool kids have an answer - just like me.
But it's up to each one of us individually what we will do with it.

 

1 comment:

Gandy said...

You have turned into a young lady who really gets it.....the things you are dealing with now are the same things that we all go through as we head toward being adults in a world that can be very confusing....I think we all need friends in the same boat we are so we can understand that we are not alone in facing what is ahead for us. Whether we are 16 or 86, it is very comforting to know that we are not alone, that many in our age group are having the same questions and looking for the same basic answers that we are! congrats on another great post...